Unemployment Haiku: Made Up 08/17/2010
I see lots of ads. "Aggressive deadlines"? Um, what? I'm calling you out. Add Comment I got all dressed up, Interview took ten minutes. Train home took forty. Twelve bucks an hour. Did I even want it? No. But you could have called. Blotter Round-Up 8/13/10 08/13/2010
Happy Friday the 13th! Shrub-related offenses, gum in the street, anonymous poems--there's no rest for the crack officers of the Buffalo Grove Police Department. Click Read More to see all the happenings and highlights from this weeks BG Police Blotter.
Blotter Round-Up 8/6/10 08/06/2010
I grew up in Buffalo Grove, Illinois, a typical suburban town filled with soccer fields, synagogues, and people with way too much time on their hands. In a low-crime, high-income area like this, the police have lots of resources and little to actually do. They run traffic stings where they stand on the median and pretend to be collecting for charity to see who crosses into the intersection after the light has turned yellow, then pull them over to issue tickets. Seriously.
Luckily for them, the residents of Buffalo Grove are f-ing nuts, and call the police about the stupidest things. Occasionally there are actual issues, but mostly it’s “suspicious people” (I’ll give you a clue. Suspicious=Not white) and kids out past curfew. I receive a daily e-mail of BG police activity, the Blotter, which is the source of nearly unending amusement to me. I have decided to compile my favorite over the course of the week to publish each Friday. Click on Read More to see some of the highlights, hijinks, and general hilarity that goes on in suburbia. No job is bad, sure. But no TV, internet? What's there left to do? I can see your seeds and it makes me seethe 07/21/2010
Cool new blog today, which I found through Serious Eats. It's called Inside Insides. They take MRIs of all kinds of produce. Sure combining food with technology has been done, but it's never been this trippy. I mean, scanwiches is so like, 2009. I don't know what I like better, the scans themselves, or the thought of some MRI tech waiting till everyone clears out for their lunch break to sneak his banana and niblets in for a secret scan. You can now find Inside Insides on my List of Awesome Blogs. Haiku Madness 07/21/2010
Three haikus for the price of one! How did you get so lucky? It's mostly cause I pity that ugly shirt you're wearing. Standards drop quicker than the prices at Wal-Mart. Are they hiring? Know who else excels at doing online research? Any 6th grader. Jobs are elusive like Unicorns or Sasquatch or my self-esteem There are so many movies that I can watch over and over and gladly will if I catch them on TV. These tend to be kid's movies from when I was a kid that played often on cable. None of them are particularly good.3 Ninjas, Matilda, Mrs. Doubtfire and the Parent Trap come to mind. Besides being cheesy, all of these movies have in common another thing: their premises are ethically abhorrent. Unemployment Haiku: The Ideal 07/16/2010
Why can't there be jobs requiring TV time and puppy petting? Unemployment Haiku: Highly Qualified 07/09/2010
I wish interviews judged how much pudding I eat. I'd get all the jobs |  Chickens don't clap! ArchivesDecember 2010 CategoriesAll |
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