Dear Ms. Surma,
     Before I go into the all-too-familiar tropes of a standard cover letter, let me first take the chance to say what a pleasure it would be to work for the organization. Though I’m sure you’ve heard it before, I’ve been a lifelong fan and it would be a dream come true to work for the Cubs. In fact, when I was 12, I did research to see if it was possible to give myself cancer just so I could make my wish from the Make A Wish Foundation to be to play Center Field at Wrigley for an inning. I wasn’t able to give myself cancer (thank God!) and I am happy to report that I have recently been able to quit with the use of the patch, and I’m pretty sure this time it’s going to stick (no pun intended, haha).
 
 
Dear Mr. Blankenship,

   It was with great sadness that I read of the passing of the zoo’s beloved Black Howler Monkey, Chico. While I understand this is a difficult time for the staff and entire zoo community, please know that the condolences of the zoo-going public are with you all and that Chico will be dearly missed. I imagine it can be unsettling for visitors to gaze into Chico’s habitat and see only memories. Due to my current lack of employment, I would like to suggest a solution that I think would be of mutual benefit to the zoo, the visitors, and myself. I would like to replace Chico.

 
 

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