Complaints are a universal language. 12/05/2010
Add Comment I Have Too Much Time on My Hands v1.0 11/24/2010
 Ambrose Sidebarns Blotter Round-up 10/29/10 10/29/2010
I have been avidly following Buffalo Grove politics recently. Why, you ask? Because you have no job and have entirely too much time on your hands, you ask? Well, yes, probably. But also because I think the fervor the Recall of Lisa Stone stirs is hilarious and fascinating. Here's a recent article on the whole issue, it already has over 250 comments. http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20101027/news/710289979/. For the record, I support Stone's recall and if you vote in BG or have family that does, make sure they vote on the issue. And now, the Blotter.
The Glorious Return of the Blotter Round-Up 10/01/2010
Rejoice, rejoice! What had vanished has now returned.
To give voice to victims and lovers spurned. Temperatures cool, but emotions run hotter. Read all about it, in this week's Blotter. It took me about four months after I applied for unemployment benefits to start receiving them, though I'm immeasurably thankful I am receiving them now. The delay was because I was initially denied and had to go through the appeals process. During this frustrating interim, I came to think of the unemployment insurance system as full of more drawbacks than benefits.
Fun With Cover Letters: The Cubs 09/20/2010
Dear Ms. Surma,
Before I go into the all-too-familiar tropes of a standard cover letter, let me first take the chance to say what a pleasure it would be to work for the organization. Though I’m sure you’ve heard it before, I’ve been a lifelong fan and it would be a dream come true to work for the Cubs. In fact, when I was 12, I did research to see if it was possible to give myself cancer just so I could make my wish from the Make A Wish Foundation to be to play Center Field at Wrigley for an inning. I wasn’t able to give myself cancer (thank God!) and I am happy to report that I have recently been able to quit with the use of the patch, and I’m pretty sure this time it’s going to stick (no pun intended, haha). Got paid doing zilch-- sat and watched Judge Pirro show. Wish it was full-time. I was rejected but replied courteously. Now the job is mine! Blotter Round-up 8/27/10 08/27/2010
Suspicious Auto
Occurred 4:50pm on 8/20 300 Block of Indian Hill Drive Resident reported a vehicle pulling into the driveway of a neighbor’s home and a vehicle pulled to the front of the house. A male subject from the car in the driveway got out and went to the rear of the house then returned and left in the vehicle on the street. Officers checked and found eviction notices on the front door and the vehicle in the driveway registering to that address. I didn’t realize that getting evicted means you have to give up your car too. Information for Police Occurred between 7/28 and 8/20 2900 Block of Roslyn Lane Resident reported that his daughter placed a text book for sale on line. A buyer stated that he would send a check for $2,999.00 and told the daughter to cash the check, take out the cost of the text and return the remaining funds via Western Union. The residents suspected this to be a scam and they were advised not to open any more emails from this subject. I really hope the scammer had a sense of irony and that it was an Introduction to Criminal Justice book. Fun With Cover Letters: The Zoo 08/24/2010
Dear Mr. Blankenship,
It was with great sadness that I read of the passing of the zoo’s beloved Black Howler Monkey, Chico. While I understand this is a difficult time for the staff and entire zoo community, please know that the condolences of the zoo-going public are with you all and that Chico will be dearly missed. I imagine it can be unsettling for visitors to gaze into Chico’s habitat and see only memories. Due to my current lack of employment, I would like to suggest a solution that I think would be of mutual benefit to the zoo, the visitors, and myself. I would like to replace Chico. Blotter Round-up 8/20/10 08/20/2010
If you read the blotter round-up because you're from BG and either still live there, or your parents do, I urge you to do what you can to make sure Lisa Stone gets recalled on November 2nd. If you have no connection to BG and just read this for the absurdity of what goes on, you're in luck, because there's still plenty of absurd happenings this week.
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